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But watch out for those jitters — they can make you feel so anxious that you project your own hopes on to this new person, rather than noticing his or her true nature. Ask questions about the issues that matter most to you. On a date not too long ago, I worried I'd been hit by lightning. That view discounts the possibility of magic — an undeniable resonance that a man and woman feel for each other, often right from the start.

All in all it was not too different from being back in 7th grade again, summoning the gumption to ask Nancy Morris to dance for the very first time.

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With all of these guys, we talk and have a good time for a few hours over coffee.By now we've collected enough life experience to know better than to fall for the first person we meet. We believe that it's still possible to find a fulfilling relationship — as long as we're willing to wait for the right person to come along. " force your mind to ask questions about such key issues as your partner's financial standing, dating history and relationship goals.Maintain eye contact — and make it clear that you expect the truth, not a sanitized version of it.So trust your instincts; they'll tell you, on the spot, whether the other person lights you up or not.Daters who are 50 and older tend to be less impulsive — and that's a good thing.In the following days I’m going to give you some of their stories of dating after 40 and relationships.